Thursday, January 31, 2013

Best Breakfast Burritos.... Ever. The End.

I love a good breakfast burrito. Or lunch burrito, dinner burrito, teatime burrito... whatever. These are as good as any I've ever paid money for. I make up a batch on my day off, stash them in hoards (much like a a squirrel) at work and home, and eat them allll week. Sometimes, I share. Most often, NOT. And I promise you, they will be equally as delicious whether you make them vegetarian or with BACON (!)

Ingredients: (makes about 14, wow. will last in fridge a week or freezer indefinitely)

5 small or 3 large russet/white potatoes
6 eggs
12 oz. bacon (I used center cut, less wasteful fat)
4 oz. can diced fire roasted green chiles (must be fire-roasted orr if you can score some roasted 
     Hatch chiles from a farmer's market, even better)
5-6 canned chipotles en adobo, diced (more if you like a burrito that makes you sweat)
15 oz. can pinto beans, drained and rinsed well (bean water is EW)
14 whole wheat tortillas (feel them in the store, the flimsier the better)
1-2 Tbsp. canola oil
Sprinkle garlic powda
couple dashes of black pepper

Hello there!
Cook your bacon (if using). Pan frying is okay, but messy. I recommend cooking it on a rack above a foil covered cookie sheet. 350 for 15 minutes or til desired crispiness. No muss, no fuss. Reserve a Tbsp. of the bacon grease/drippings.While bacon is cooking, chop up your tatos into bite size pieces (leave skins on). Bacon is done, blot it with paper towels,

Pig candy.
crumble it (when cool enough), and ya might as well sample it too- HA. Add canola oil to drippings/ grease in a large skillet, sprinkle the garlic powder on taters and fry over medium-high until they tender and golden brown.  Add in green chiles, chipotles, a couple tablespoons of the adobo sauce, and beans. Combine, reduce burner to medium and let come back up to heat. If your filling looks dry add a bit of water or chicken stock. Meanwhile, steam your tortillas. If you do not have a steamer, never fear! I will show you a easy and thoroughly ghetto way to do it.

Separate each tortilla with a sheet of foil and stack em up.

Stackin' papers.. er... tortillas...

 Wrap the entire thing in a damp dishtowel. Normally I use a bigger pan with a lid, but I had to cook at the Shrub's house so I shoved them into a tiny pan and covered tightly with more foil.

Tight fit lol  like sardines!

Hey man, desperate times. Put in the stove at 250 for about 20 minutes.

Now that our filling is warmed, and the flavors starting to mesh- push it into one side of the pan and crack your eggs into the other side and pepper them generously, like so.

Barely starting to set.

 Leave the eggs alone for awhile, until they start to set. Gently scramble them and then combine with the other side of pan stuff. Turn off heat and stir in bacon.

By now your tortillas are perfectly steamed! Grab the stack and assemble, using the foil to wrap em up tight.


Look at these beauties. Damn. 

They don't even need cheese, but you can add some before reheating, and as always- Cholula goes well with ANYTHING.

 I did share this batch. Next time, I probably won't be as kind.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Flexitarian Pot Pie

Who doesn't love pot pie? Actually, let me rephrase that.

If you don't love pot pie we can't be friends. Sorry. One of my fondest childhood memories is using my allowance to buy those ghetto disgusting Banquet frozen pot pies. I loved them. So much so, in fact, that I would not be able to a.) wait for them to finish cooking, hence undercooked rock-like turds of carrots or b.) wait for them to cool properly, hence burning half of the tastebuds off my young tongue.  Point is, I love damn pot pie. This is a mostly guilt-free recipe and guess what? I didn't burn my tongue on it ;)

Ingredients: (filling)
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. poultry seasoning blend (or just thyme to taste if you cannot procure the season blend)
1 T. dried parsley
black or white pepper to taste (I like lots)
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup (sub cream of celery if you going veg, might need more poultry season.)
1 c. milk
About 2 c. chicken stock (sub vegetarian broth if veg- I like Pacific brand)
12 oz. frozen green beans
12 oz. frozen carrot/pea blend
8 oz. white/button mushrooms, sliced
5 small or 3 large russet potatoes peeled and cut into bite size chunkies
12 oz. pkg Quorn Chk'n tenders (optional, but damn do they taste like chicken!)

Enough butter or olive oil to completely saute dem mushrooms into submission

Our lovely cast.
4 c. all- purpose flour
1 1/2 c. Crisco
2 tsp. salt


Hokay. Ya gots your stuff. Boil tatos until they are slightly undercooked (they will cook more in the oven). Meanwhile,  in large pot or dutch oven, saute those mushrooms and the spices (except parsley) in the tiny bit of oil or butter until they are your bitch. Er, or at least nice and brown.

Effin' hot in here, bro.
Add the soups, slowly stirring in the broth and milk, as well as parsley. You want it to come up to a nice bubbly texture, thickened somewhat but member: it will thicken more in the oven Once bubbly, add veggies and Quorn.
SECRET TIP ALERT: I also add a tablespoon of sour cream to really give it some oomph. Potatoes should be done, immediately give em a cold water bath and set aside.
When veggies are to your tender-liking, add potatoes and turn off heat.

We're cool, thanks.

While sauce is cooling ish lets make the crust. Combine flour and salt; cut in Crisco. I love my hand cutter...
OG, bitch.

Most recipes call for cold water, but my crust turns out fine with warm so meh. Add enough whatever temp. water and mix with spoon/your claws until very pliable and playdough like.

Playdough's delicious cousin.
Get some foolio to roll it out for you (my least favorite part ugh) The Shrubs  used the floured back of a cookie sheet becauseeee.... you need to put it in a 9x13 pan! Rectangle ftw! Divide dough in half and roll out.
Deep dish. Eff yes. Thanks, Shrubs!
Pour in the filling. If there's extra just put aside to eat as a soup or over rice later! Okay top it, flute it, annndddd ta-da!
Pop this sucker into the oven at 400 for bout 40 mins (or until top is golden, I'm high altitude so don't want to F you guys up)

Waitforit.... Omg....

Too legit to quit.

Holy cow. Sweet dreams are made of this.

Friday, January 18, 2013


Well. Welcome welcome! Here I am starting a cooking blog! I shall start posting on Monday.